Things I Said on June 21

2006: Cuts of meat: Jimmy Buffet “Cheeseburger in Paradise”; Gang of Four “Cheeseburger”; Michael Hurley “What Made my Hamburger Disappear”; Focus “Hamburger Concerto”; Jim Jackson (also covered by Hurley) “I Heard the Voice of a Porkchop”; Rancid “Tenderloin”; Neil Young “T-Bone”; Led Zeppelin “Hot Dog”; all three Hasil Adkins songs about hot dogs and decapitation; Joey Dee and the Starlighters “Hot Pastrami With Mashed Potatoes”, Ugly Duckling “Meat Shake”; Dead Boys “Caught With the Meat in Your Mouth”; Andrews Sisters “Hold Tight (Want Some Seafood Mama)”; Adam Sandler “The Thanksgiving Song” (turkey); Sugarhill Gang “Rapper’s Delight” (wood-flavored chicken); ZZ Top “TV Dinner” (blue chicken); Kurt Weill “Cannon Song” (beefsteak tartar); the Buoys “Timothy” (cannibalism); Beastie Boys “Shake Your Rump” (Sam the Butcher bringing Alice the meat); Eric B & Rakim “Paid in Full” (fish, which is their favorite dish); Public Domain “Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts.”

2017: You tell me Democrats need to be way more progressive, I might like your post or comment. You tell me it’s a wishful thinking pipe dream fantasy that being way more progressive would mean more votes (especially in certain Georgia congressional districts), I might like your post or comment, too. (Clearly an equal opportunity liker. Within limits. Says a guy who voted for both Bernie and Hillary last year.)

2017: Hmmm… I see Rolling Stone just published a “100 Greatest Metal Albums of All Time” thing. Which they didn’t ask me to contribute to, even though (1) I once wrote a book about a similar topic times five (then six) and (2) I reviewed albums for them for decades. Boy, I wonder why. (Actually. honestly, I do wonder why. But I’m fine with it. On some days, at least. Not the first time they’ve non-personned me.)

2017: So, if you order a beer on a plane, and the flight attendants don’t ask you to pay for it, and you have a $5 bill ready just in case but somehow it never comes up, can they send you to jail? (Asking for a friend, just in case.)

2017: Multi-tasking: Roasting cauliflower right at this moment, while I prepare zucchini to go into the oven next. Oven at 450 degrees, chop the cauliflower up with lots of olive oil, stir and turn every five minutes, then after 20 add finely sliced garlic, radish, whatever is still growing outside (rosemary, basil, parsley, etc.) and some thyme and tarragon for the next 10 minutes. Squirt on lime and sprinkle parmesan when it’s cooked: Half-hour total.

Should also mention the spaghetti noodles with mushroom/red onion/white wine/homemade chicken stock sauce I prepared yesterday, and the catfish I’d cooked the day before (which has a fairly intricate recipe itself — secret basting ingredient: whole grain mustard. Plus more radishes, everywhere.)

All this while listening to the new Lorde, Halsey, and Harry Styles albums in the background ALL AT THE SAME TIME, on random shuffle. (Don’t think I like them much, but hey I tried.) (Conclusion: I like Hey Violet more.)


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