If a Nun Should Appear

Woke up couple days ago trying to remember the entire lyrics to the pre-juvenile delinquent junior high class clown classics “Glory Glory Hallelujah Teacher Hit With Me With a Ruler,” “Fight Our Teachers’ Battles With Spitballs Gum and Clay” and “Run Run Run I Think I Hear a Nun (If a Nun Should Appear Say… Continue reading If a Nun Should Appear

Post-Punk & New Pop Notes

One thing people really have to understand is that, when Simon Reynolds writes about “post-punk” or “new pop” in Rip It Up and Start Again: Post-Punk 1978-1984, it doesn’t necessarily mean those phrases were widely used when that music actually existed — and if they were, they weren’t always used exactly as he defines them.… Continue reading Post-Punk & New Pop Notes

How Old Are Mix Tapes?

In this week’s episode of Mrs. America (spoiler alert), the Phyllis Schlafly character opens her adolescent daughter’s mail and finds a mix cassette from a boy, which when Schlafly slides it into the tape recorder turns out to begin, shockingly (for her) and hilariously (for us) enough, with “Cherry Bomb.” Later Schlafly explains to some… Continue reading How Old Are Mix Tapes?

150 Best Albums of 1972

Some bot calling itself Charlie Davis showed up on my facebook feed last week, claiming “There are no songs about animals…FACT.” Probably it was harvesting potential answers to “What’s your pet’s name?” or personal-information security questions along those lines; all I know is somebody I went to high school with had naively answered “‘Wildfire’ ‘Born… Continue reading 150 Best Albums of 1972

150 Best Albums of 1975

“Our long national nightmare is over,” Gerald Ford had promised his fellow Americans the previous August, as he was sworn in as the most un-elected president ever, replacing the only president who ever resigned. But 1975 still had plenty of nightmare left: State Department bombed by Weather Underground, FBI gunfight on a South Dakota Indian… Continue reading 150 Best Albums of 1975

Outsider Proto-Punk Reissue Licks, 2003

MICHAEL YONKERS BAND, Microminiature Love St. Paul, Minnesota, 1968. Techie-teen leader of Michael and the Mumbles tires of twanging surf ditties at prom and VFW crowds, so he saws down his Fender and slashes open his speakers and lets his ominous baritone vibrato’s pomped-up medieval-castle Procol Harum poetry fall into black holes of Link Wray-reverbed… Continue reading Outsider Proto-Punk Reissue Licks, 2003

Monster Records Metal Reissue Licks, 2004

TRUTH AND JANEY, ERUPTS! In April 1976, an unpretentious numskull trio from some Iowa cowtown recorded this ballroom concert (longest endurance tests 9:05, 8:12, 7:21, 6:51), not issued on double vinyl till the early ’90s, and not on CD till now. To read their backstory, you need their 1,000-pressing 1976 studio LP, No Rest for the… Continue reading Monster Records Metal Reissue Licks, 2004

A Bubblegum Top 40

Reprinted in the 2001 Kim Cooper and David Smay-edited anthology Bubblegum Music is the Naked Truth; possibly excerpted and/or cannibalized in scores of things I’ve written since. But this is how the original version looked on the page. A year later or decades later — after Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, the Spice Girls, Radio Disney, Aqua,… Continue reading A Bubblegum Top 40